My baby could've killed me!
Shirley Evans had a heart transplant when she was three years old
Wednesday 16th April 2008
I unlocked the bathroom door.
'So?' my boyfriend, Deiniol Parry, 25, asked, as I held the pregnancy test in my shaking hand.
'It's positive,' I gulped.
'How do you feel?' he asked.
For most women, the answer might be thrilled, scared, uncertain. For me, it was more complicated. I'd been born with congenital heart disease. Thankfully, a heart transplant when I was 3 meant I'd had a happy, normal childhood. But there was one hitch.
'It's too dangerous for you to have children,' my mum, Shirley, 52, had explained. The extra strain a pregnancy would put on my heart made it too risky. As a kid, it didn't seem important. But by the time I was 16, and had fallen for Deiniol, a postman, my feelings were very different.
'I'd love to have a baby one day,' I'd told him. 'But it's impossible.'
'It's OK,' he'd replied. 'I love you.'
It meant a lot. But it didn't fill the empty feeling inside of me. So I became a nursery nurse, thinking I'd get my kids fix that way, but it just made the longing worse.
When I watched the children rushing up to their mums at the end of the day, I felt so envious. I'll never have that, I thought. But now, in May 2007, a pregnancy test was telling me otherwise. Deiniol and I sat there in shock. My heart tablets meant I couldn't take the Pill, but we'd always used condoms.
'So what now?' he asked.
'I can't get rid of our baby,' I replied.
No matter what the risks, I knew I had to keep it. The next day, I made an appointment at Alder Hey Hospital in Liverpool. But my determination soon turned to fear. Would I have to have an abortion?
I was only five weeks pregnant, but this tiny thing had already made my dreams come true — I couldn't have them shattered now. A week later, I travelled up to Alder Hey with Deiniol, Mum and my dad, David, 42.
'You're taking a big risk,' the doctor explained to me.
If I decided to go ahead, as well as the pregnancy putting a strain on my heart, I'd also have to stop taking Imuinn. It's one of three drugs I took to keep my body from rejecting my heart, but it could cause birth defects.
'I'm not going to lie,' the doctor said. 'This pregnancy could kill you.'
I held Deiniol's hand, terrified.
'But there are a handful of women who've had heart transplants, and gone on to have healthy babies,' he added. 'The choice is yours.'
Driving home, my head swirled with confusion.
'I don't want to lose you,' Deiniol said.
Mum and Dad glanced at each other, but they didn't say anything.
It was my decision.
But although I was terrified, I knew this baby was a risk worth taking. So that was that. I came off the drugs and quit my job. I had my blood taken at a local lab in Wrecsam every week, to monitor my anti-rejection drug levels, and every third week, I had a check-up at Alder Hey. It was nerve-racking. Sometimes, I'd have moments of pure panic, terrified I might just keel over. But by my 19th week, although I was tired and anaemic, my heart was holding out and suddenly, I was full of hope.
We're both going to be fine, I thought, stroking my bump. A week later, Deiniol and I were thrilled to hear I was carrying a boy. Tentatively, I started buying blue Babygros and packets of nappies. Then, on 27 December 2007, when I was almost 33 weeks gone, I went for a check-up at Alder Hey.
'It's almost time,' the doctor said.
A natural birth would put too much strain on my heart, he told me, so I'd need a Caesarean before I went to full-term. On 7 January, when I was admitted to Liverpool Women's Hospital, I cried tears of joy as the surgeon lifted our 3lb 4oz son, Cameron, from me, and handed him to Deiniol.
'He's small, but he's fine,' a nurse said, checking him.
I had to go to the high-dependency unit to be sewn up first, but when I finally cuddled Cameron eight hours later, I knew all the risks had been worth it.
'He's so beautiful,' I sobbed.
Two months later, I can't imagine life without him. And, while I'm not planning on having any more children, I'd do it all again if I had to. I risked everything for Cameron. And boy, was he worth it!
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