Mum had hubby's baby!
Serenity and Owen believe they are twins.
Saturday 20th September 2008
It should have been a celebration. Today was my 23rd birthday, and my husband, Eric, 30, had organised a family barbecue. But celebrating was the last thing I felt like doing.
It had been three months since I'd been diagnosed with 'unexplained infertility'. The pain was still as raw now as it had been then.
Why had it hit me so hard? It's not like it was a surprise. Over the past two years, I'd suffered two ectopic pregnancies in my left Fallopian tube, and eight miscarriages. Surely this was just one more blow? No, this was different. It was the end of the line.
'Let's call it a day,' Eric had said.
'Yes,' I'd agreed. 'We'll be happy just the two of us.'
Who was I kidding? I wanted to be a mum. I'd especially longed for twins. How could I just let the dream die?
'Happy birthday, love,' Mum smiled now, handing me a card.
'Thanks,' I said, forcing a smile.
My parents, Anthony, 45, and Diane Ship, 41, had been a huge support. They lived four hours away from my home in Sellersburg, Indiana, and I'd often call, sobbing.I was about to toss Mum's card onto the table, when she stopped me. 'Open it,' she urged.
Perhaps she's put a cheque inside…
But the card had a picture of a baby on the front. I glanced up at Mum, confused.
'Just read it,' she pleaded.
'Happy Birthday, sweetheart,' I read out loud. 'I'd like to be a surrogate mum for you and Eric, so you can have the child you've always dreamed of.'
I looked around the room. Everyone was grinning. They all knew. Everyone, that is, except Eric. He looked as stunned as I felt.
'Oh my…' he gulped.
'Thank you,' I wept, hugging Mum.
She explained she'd already been to see her GP. At 41, it had been 18 years since she'd been pregnant with my sister, Angela, but the doctor had said she was in great health.
'I can't believe it,' I wept, hugging Eric, then Dad.
'And you don't mind?' I asked Dad.
After all, he was the one who was going to have to live with a pregnant lady for nine months!
'If your mum's up for it, so am I,' he smiled.
I don't think Mum's offer really sank in until we were all sat in my fertility doctor's office, a few days later.
As my eggs were poor quality, he advised we used Mum's. It meant the child wouldn't biologically be mine. In fact, it would be my half-brother or sister. It also meant my husband would be getting my mum pregnant! Sounds weird, doesn't it?
'You will still be this child's mother,' Mum insisted.
It wasn't a hard decision.
'Let's do it,' I said.
The doctor explained there were two ways of impregnating Mum. She could either be artificially inseminated with Eric's sperm, at a cost of £10,000. Or, we could take a syringe home, and do it for free. We opted for the latter. Over the next month, she took daily ovulation tests. On the morning she got a positive result, she drove over.
When she arrived, Eric was ready.
'Here you go,' I chuckled, handing him a little plastic tub.
After a while, Eric emerged and handed the tub to Mum.
'Good luck,' he grinned.
Mum nipped upstairs with Eric's sperm and the large, plastic syringe.
Once she'd inserted the sperm, she had to lie with her hips raised on a pillow for 10 minutes.
Then, all we could do was wait. We weren't too disappointed when Mum called to say she'd got her period that first month.
'We'll just keep trying,' she said.
The next month, we did just that. And two weeks later, Mum called.
'Y-you're pregnant,' she stammered.
Bursting into tears, I thanked Mum over and over. And when I called Eric at work, he wept, too.
'We're going to be parents!' he gasped.
Soon, the pregnancy was all we could talk about. We discussed names and nursery decorations. But when Mum said she'd started to be sick, I felt a twinge of guilt.
I could only imagine how horrible morning sickness was… However, a few weeks later, I woke up one morning and threw up.
'It's sympathy morning sickness,' I joked to Mum.
But as the sickness continued, Mum had a shocking theory.
'What if you're pregnant?'
'No!' I snapped.
The last thing I wanted was another miscarriage .
But, caught up in all the excitement, Eric and I hadn't been using contraception.
So I took a test while Eric waited outside the bathroom. Two blue lines appeared…
Pregnant.
'Now Mum's pregnancy is going to be tainted with the loss of another baby,' I sobbed.
'This one might stick around,' Eric said gently, cupping my face.
I couldn't think like that. But at my GP's appointment…
'Everything's normal,' the doctor confirmed.
I was four weeks pregnant. As my miscarriages had all happened before the fifth week,
I guessed I didn't have long before I felt the familiar pains. But the fifth week passed.
Then, at a six-week scan, a heartbeat. In all the scans we'd had, we'd never seen a heartbeat.
'This one's going to pull through,' Eric insisted.
I still refused to believe it. Instead, I concentrated on Mum's pregnancy. I attended all of her scans, and her pregnancy was problem free. Mine was a different story. A rash broke out all over my body. And every so often, I start bleeding.Each time, the baby was fine, but the emotional roller coaster I was on was exhausting. At 20 weeks, we found out Mum was carrying a boy. A month later, I discovered I was having a girl.
'Perfect,' Eric grinned.
But I was still convinced something was going to go wrong.
When I was 32 weeks gone, Mum 36 weeks, I temporarily moved in with her. We both planned to give birth in her local hospital.I'd been living with my parents for a month, and Mum was due any day, when my GP discovered my blood pressure was dangerously high.
At hospital, I was told I had pre-eclampsia and was induced.
'You were supposed to give birth first!' I snapped at Mum, as my contractions kicked in.
'It'll be fine,' she assured me.
When Eric arrived, Mum was relegated to the waiting room. But just a little while later…
'We think your mum's in labour,' a midwife announced.
'You what?' I gasped.
'Your mum's waters have broken,' the midwife added, an hour later.
As I puffed and panted, the reports gathered steam. My son was in the breach position, feet first. Mum had been rushed to theatre for a Caesarean…
Oh Mum, please be OK. I'd wanted to be at her side.
Minutes seemed like hours. Finally, a midwife burst into the room.
'You have a healthy 8lb 10oz boy,' she smiled.
'Thank God,' I gasped.
Still in labour, I was wheeled down to the nursery to have a peek at my son. With his dark hair and wide smile, he was the spit of his dad.
'Let's call him Owen,' I said, as I held him for the first time. But just then, pain thundered across my belly, reminding me my job was far from done. After another 14 hours, I still wasn't dilating, so I had to have a Caesarean, too. Eric was beside me as our 7lb 13oz daughter, Serenity, was born.
Technically, Owen is Serenity's uncle, but they'll always be my twins. They're 4 now, and they still believe that's the truth.That's why I'm telling my story. When they're old enough, I'll show them the magazine and explain how they came into the world. Until then, they'll never truly understand what a wonderful thing their grandmother did for us.