Matchmaking mutts
Thursday 11th June 2009
Conversations with my ex were always awkward. 'Do you want me to drop the children off tomorrow?' I asked Ian Russell. 'Yes please,' he said. 'How's Molly doing?' A strained silence, then… 'She misses you,' I confessed. It's always hardest on the kids when a couple splits up. But in our case, 'the children' were our two Staffordshire Bull Terrier crosses, Benji, 4, and Molly, 3. Ian, 32, and I had met at The Victoria pub in Mansfield in March 2002. A friend of a friend, Ian was always laughing. Usually at me. Soon, I'd fallen for this big joker. We'd been together six months when we went to my sister Kerry's wedding, in September 2002.'Isn't it lovely?' I hinted. A traditional girl, I'd always dreamed of a big, white wedding. 'If you like that sort of thing,' Ian mumbled. 'I'd never get married.' Most women would have run a mile if their fella announced that. Not me. I liked a challenge. Give him time, he'll come around.
Six months on, we bought a house together then, in August 2003, we adopted Benji, and Molly a year on. We shared a home, animals… surely a ring on my finger wasn't that much more scary? So, in December 2005, I bit the bullet. 'Should we get engaged?' I blurted as we sat on the settee watching Corrie. 'Could do,' Ian shrugged. Not exactly the most romantic proposal, but it'd do. We booked our local church, St Simon and St Jude's, for 16 June 2007 and a reception for 60 guests. Only while I was at dress fittings, and choosing flowers, Ian was always in the pub with his mates. 'The wedding's in four months and you haven't been for a suit fitting yet,' I grumbled. 'Don't you want to get married?' 'I wouldn't have agreed to if I didn't want to,' he replied huffily. But I wasn't convinced.
Two months on, we went to the pub with some mates. I headed home around 7.30. 'I'll just have one more, then get a taxi home,' Ian said. Only he still hadn't turned up after an hour. 'A few of us decided to carry on,' he said when I'd called his mobile. 'You what?' I gasped. 'See you later,' he said, hanging up. He'd sent me home and gone on with his mates? Suddenly, I realised. Ian didn't want to get married. He'd never wanted to get married. He'd only gone along to keep me quiet. Sobbing, I went to stay at Kerry's. Next morning, I texted Ian: It's over, last night was the last straw. I cancelled the wedding and moved, with the dogs, to my mum's.
Now, two months on, we shared Benji and Molly. I'd drop them off or collect them once a week. Each time, my heart broke all over again. 'This is silly,' Ian said when I dropped them off the next day. 'Why don't you come back?' 'You won't marry me,' I said. 'That was then,' Ian replied. Then he turned to the dogs. 'Fancy coming for a walk with us then?' he asked. 'Why not?' I shrugged. 'We were supposed to be planning a wedding,' I said as we walked. 'And you were always off with the lads.' 'I wasn't ready,' Ian admitted. We should have said all this months ago. Only now, it was too late for us. Wasn't it? We started taking the dogs for walks together every weekend. We'd talk about us, and remember the good times.
By December 2007, we'd been apart for 10 months. Molly padded over to me, and looked up at me with sad doggy eyes. 'You miss him too,' I sighed. I phoned Ian. 'Can I come back?' I asked. 'Absolutely,' he replied. I raced straight over, into his arms. Four months on, we planned a holiday to Cuba for the next October. 'We could make it our honeymoon,' I suggested cheekily. 'Yes,' Ian smiled. 'We could.' This time he went straight out and bought his suit. On 26 September, when I walked down the aisle, Ian was waiting with a massive smile on his face. 'Fancy seeing you here,' he smiled. Trust Ian to make a joke of it! We spent our wedding night at home with the dogs. 'We owe them a big thank you,' I said, giving them both a treat. After all, if it weren't for them, we might never have talked things through. They really are a couple of matchmaking mutts!
Ian says: 'I wasn't ready for marriage. I wanted to be out with the lads. But I really regret not following Marie home that night like I said I would. Thank God for Benji and Molly, they were my excuse to see Marie. It's all in the past, and we're happily married.'