Killed best mate!
Dayna, left was killed in a car accident. Sam, right, was driving.
Sunday 12th October 2008
What's the worst thing you've ever done? Snogged a mate's boyfriend? Lied to get out of trouble? Stolen something? I don't even have to think about my answer. The worst thing I've ever done is on my mind every single day. I took my best friend's life and left her little girl without a mum. It doesn't get any worse, does it?
I'd been mates with Dayna Mitchell for five years, ever since we'd met at Millais School, in Horsham, aged 13. Blonde, gorgeous and funny, Dayna was the coolest girl I'd ever met. She was brainy, too.
'I'm going to college when I'm older,' she'd say.
I didn't doubt it for a second. But then, when she was 15, she fell pregnant to her 16-year-old boyfriend, Will Light. I was shocked, but Dayna took it all in her stride.
'College can come later,' she said matter-of-factly. 'Having a baby doesn't mean your life's over.'
After giving birth to little Kaci, Dayna was as good as her word. Forget slobbing around in tracksuits stained with baby sick. She was as glam as ever, with her blonde streaks, fake tan and perfect make-up. And before long, Kaci was growing into a miniature version of her mum. Same bubbly personality, big smile, blonde hair…
'She's a little princess, isn't she?' Dayna would grin, smothering her with kisses.
She was a great mum, and a brilliant mate, too. Most Saturdays, she'd sweet talk Will into babysitting so we could hit the town. That was how it was on 26 November 2006, when Dayna joined me and the girls for a few drinks in the Sussex Barn, near our homes in Horsham.
I wish I could remember the details of that night, what we wore, what we talked about. But the truth is, I don't recall a single thing. I guess I've blocked it all out. I've been told that I was stone-cold sober when we left the pub at 11pm. As I was driving, I wasn't drinking.
I can almost imagine Dayna giggling as she clambered into the back of my blue Fiesta, and our mate, Lucy Morris, then 19, climbed into the front on that cold, rainy night. Maybe we had some R'n'B tunes playing as we drove along, singing at the top of our voices. That would be just like me and Dayna.
But I was a careful driver. I'd only passed my test a year earlier, and had been bought this car by my dad, John Cole, 43, as a present. That's why I find it so hard to understand what happened next. We were on Worthing Road in Horsham, driving towards Lucy's house. My boyfriend at the time, Dean Lee, 22, was following in his car.That's how I know that I was doing 60mph on a 40mph road. That I took a corner way too fast, swerved and lost control. That we span, left the road and crashed backwards through a hedge, landing in a field.
When Dean rushed over, he found me unconscious. Lucy, who was in the front passenger seat, was in agony from a broken neck and couldn't move. And Dayna,my best friend in the world? She was already dead.
I woke up in East Surrey Hospital, bruised, concussed and suffering from amnesia. I guess it was then that someone, a friend maybe, a doctor even, told me Dayna was gone. But I don't remember that either. Did I scream, sob, go numb with disbelief? I don't know. Those days and weeks that followed are still a terrible blur of grief and pain. I know that I gave a statement to the police, that I left hospital after three days to go back home to Dad's.
And I know friends came to see me, offering their support.
I'd been expecting everyone to see me as I saw myself, as the person who'd taken Dayna away, and left little Kaci, then 2, without a mum. But all our friends were brilliant.
Of course, they missed Dayna desperately. But…
'It was an accident,' they said.
Even Lucy, who was stuck in hospital, forgave me. I couldn't believe it. But the most amazing thing was that just days after the accident, I had a visit from Dayna's mum, Josie Mitchell, 44.
'She wouldn't have wanted me to blame you,' she said quietly, giving me a hug.
I'd always known she was an amazing woman. She'd often joined in on girly chats when I'd gone to visit Dayna. But I still couldn't believe she didn't hate me.
'Thank you,' I sobbed.
For Dayna's funeral, all us girls dressed in matching pink T-shirts and black trousers. We looked more like a hen party than a group of mourners, but it's what Dayna would have wanted. Even so, I was terrified about seeing Will and Kaci, and all of Dayna's relatives.
Would they hate me? In the end, there were so many people, I barely spoke to Will.
Everyone was so understanding, but deep down, I still hated myself.
'I'm sorry,' I whispered to Dayna, as I laid flowers at the crash scene.
As the weeks passed, I desperately tried to make sense of it all.
'You're probably not ready to remember,' my doctor said. 'It may never come back to you.'
Eventually, I went back to my job as an administrator for an insurance company. But I was like a zombie. The weight of my guilt was so crushing, I kept just bursting into tears.
In January 2007, I went back to the police station to learn whether I'd be charged.
My solicitor had warned me from the start that a charge, and a prison sentence, was likely.
'You're probably looking at six months to a year,' she'd said.
I was terrified. I was only 19. But I also thought I deserved prison for what I'd done.
'You're being charged with causing death by dangerous driving,' a policeman finally told me.
Me and Dad looked everything up online. The offence carried a maximum sentence of 14 years in prison.
'It won't come to that,' Dad tried to reassure me.
Maybe. But in my heart, I was terrified it was what I deserved.
Eventually, on 5 October 2007, I appeared at Hove Crown Court in East Sussex. Pleading 'not guilty' was never an option for me. I'd been going too fast. I'd killed Dayna. Besides, I didn't want to put Dean and Lucy through the trauma of reliving that horrible night on the witness stand. Sentencing was adjourned until 13 November. On the morning of my court date, I packed a small bag, ready to be taken straight to the cells after the hearing.When would I see my home again? My family? When Judge Charles Kemp told me to stand up in the dock, my legs felt so weak, I thought I'd collapse.
'This case is a very real tragedy,' he began. 'Dayna, herself the mother of a young child, died needlessly. Her family are devastated and nothing I can do to you will help them or bring Dayna back to them.Whilst you have devastated the life of Dayna's mother and that of her family, she has said she does not feel that you should go to prison. You should be grateful for such an extraordinary, compassionate and generous gesture on her part.'
Josie had told me before I went to court that she intended to write to the judge, asking for leniency. He handed out a 12-month prison sentence, but explained that it would be suspended for two years. He also banned me from driving for three years and ordered me to carry out 200 hours unpaid community work. I couldn't stop crying as I looked for my dad in the public gallery.The relief was overwhelming.But I know nothing will take away the fact that, as a result of my actions, my best friend is gone forever. I'll never get over it and I still think about her every day. I'll live with my guilt forever.
Dayna's mum, Josie, 44, tells her story..
I'd been praying it was all a big mix-up. But when my ex-husband, Tony Mitchell, stepped back into the hospital corridor, I could tell from his face it was true. He didn't say a word as he took my hand and led me to our girl's body… I'd lost two babies before having Dayna, so her birth on 25 August 1988, at Crawley Hospital, West Sussex, had felt like a miracle.
I'd split from her dad while I was expecting, but Tony, now 45, and I had got together when she was 8 months old and married when she was 2, so he was her dad in every way that mattered.
Dayna was a girly girl, into anything pink and pretty. But she was wise beyond her years, too, a great listener and always looking out for her little sister, Paige, now 14. She was 13 when she started going out with Will Light, now 19. He was a nice lad, but you assume it will fizzle out at that age. Two years later, though, I was getting ready my job as a receptionist when Dayna came into the bedroom and announced: 'I'm pregnant.'
At first, I thought she was trying it on to wangle a day off school! But when I realised she was serious, we sat down and talked it all through.
'I really want to keep this baby,' she insisted.
So I gave her my support. Baby Kaci was born on 25 June 2004, and while Will took a job
as a chef, Dayna found work at an insurance firm. I spoke to her most nights on
the phone and, on 27 November 2006, we had a chat as usual.
She mentioned she was planning to go out with her mates, Sam and Lucy, the following night, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't hear from her the next day.
But at 4am the next morning, there was a knock at the door.
'Mrs Josie Mitchell?' a police officer said, as I opened the door to him and a colleague. 'Are you on your own?'
I told them Paige was upstairs and led them into the living room.
'There's been an accident,' one of the officers said. 'Your daughter, Dayna, was very badly injured. I'm afraid she didn't survive.'
Hysterical, I phoned Tony. He brought his parents to look after Paige and called Will, who arranged for his mum, Dawn, to look after Kaci overnight. Then he drove me to Crawley Hospital, where we waited for the police. When they arrived, I learned that Sam Cole, Dayna's best friend, had been driving when the crash happened.
I'd known Sam for years, but there was barely time to think about the implications as Tony stepped into the room to identify Dayna's body. Blood tests showed there was no alcohol in Sam's blood, but witnesses believed she'd been speeding. I knew blaming Sam wasn't something Dayna would have wanted. But I couldn't help thinking that if Sam hadn't taken that corner too fast, my daughter would still be here.
It was a few days after the accident when I saw Sam. I was heartbroken, but I knew she'd lost Dayna, too. So I opened my arms and hugged her. A few weeks after Dayna's funeral, I heard charges were going to be pressed against Sam.But jailing her wouldn't bring my daughter back.
'I'm writing to the judge,' I told Sam before her court appearance.
Dayna, like myself, was a very forgiving person, I wrote. Sam made this terrible mistake and has devastated our lives and her own. I do feel that Sam must learn from this, but going to prison is not the answer.
I went to Hove Crown Court on 13 November 2007, where my letter was read out. It was a terrible day. But I felt relieved when Sam was given a fine and community service.
Dayna wouldn't have wanted her best friend to be jailed.I often look through old photos with Kaci when she visits.
'There's Mummy,' she'll say.
It was her first day at school this month. Will's coping so well. But Dayna shouldn't be missing things like that. I go to our family plot at the crematorium to speak to her all
the time. I miss her terribly. But I know she'd have forgiven Sam. That's why I've tried to.