I had half a body lift
Thursday 28th January 2010
Standing naked in front of the mirror at home, I took a deep breath and forced myself to look.
No! I made a strange sort of strangled noise as I stared in horror.
On my left side, my DD- cup boob was droopy and misshapen, while an ugly apron of lumpy fat fell over my groin.
On my right side, my boob was a pert 38C, and there was no huge fold of fat, just a neat crease where my stomach met my hips.
I looked like two different people, with completely opposite body shapes, cut in half and sewn together.
But just for a second, forget my weird body. Perhaps the strangest thing about the reflection staring back at me was, despite looking like the Bride of Frankenstein, I couldn't help finally breaking into a huge smile.
Why? Because as bizarre and lopsided as I looked now, I was closer than I'd ever been to looking normal.
In fact, I was exactly half way there.
I'd always been big for the same reasons as everyone else. I'd eaten too much of the wrong things, and then after having my kids, Yazmin, 5, and Jonathan, 2, my excess weight had become even harder to shift.
Eventually, I was 17st and only 5ft 1in tall.
I'd tried all the usual things, low-calorie diets, cutting out carbs, walking more, exercise. But I couldn't stick to anything.
It wasn't even all about looks. I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting puffed out.
I worked as a carer for the elderly, and shifting furniture to clean for them was getting harder.
Most disgustingly of all, where my stomach folded over, my groin would get sweaty and infected. It smelt rancid, like rotting meat.
It was shameful, but at the same time, I felt trapped.
I couldn't imagine living any other way.
Then, in April this year, I suddenly got a chance to do something about it.
'You should ask Dr Ersek for help,' my sister, Priscilla, suggested.
She worked as the receptionist for Dr Robert Ersek, a well-known local cosmetic surgeon who specialised in weight-loss surgery and dubbed himself the 'biggest fat-sucker' in the industry.
'Yeah, right,' I'd said. On my salary I couldn't afford a keep-fit class, let alone liposuction.
But Priscilla persuaded me it was worth a shot, so a week later I found myself naked in Dr Ersek's office.
I blushed from my toes up. I hadn't been naked in front of anyone for years, not even my partner, Armando Camarillo, 41.
'You need a lot of work,' Dr Ersek said, looking me over.
I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
'A breast lift, tummy tuck, liposuction…' As he'd listed the procedures, my heart had sunk lower and lower.
There was no way I could pay for that.
After I got dressed, I'd sat down opposite Dr Ersek ready to tell him thanks but no thanks, when…
'I'd like to offer you a deal,' he'd said.
Now I was listening.
'I'll do your surgery for a reduced rate,' he'd continued. 'If you'll let me operate on half your body at a time.'
Half?
I tried to let it sink in.
'You'd better explain,' I'd said eventually.
Dr Ersek told me how he would perform a boob lift, buttock lift, liposuction and tummy tuck, but just on my right-hand side. Then, a few weeks on when that had healed, he'd do the same on the left side.
'OK…' I'd said slowly.
It sounded too weird. Would one half of me look like Jo Brand and the other like Russell Brand?
'It's never been done before,' he went on. 'But I think that by working on one side at a time,
you will heal better.'
He told me that I'd only be uneven for a few months, tops.
Pioneering surgery being tried out on me, eh?
I didn't need to think too long.
'You're on,' I'd smiled.
Back home, I broke the news to my parents and Priscilla.
'I know the risks,' I'd said. 'But I think it's worth it.'
'I know how miserable you've been, love,' Mum replied. 'We all support you.'
So a month on, at the end of May, I'd found myself on the operating table for the six-hour procedure.
As soon as I'd recovered I was able to go home to my house in Austin, Texas, and that's how I'd come to be naked in front of the mirror now, lopsided and grinning.
I was half way to my dream body.
There were two and a half months between my first op and my second, and that was a very strange 10 weeks indeed.
'Will people notice?' I asked Priscilla.
'I can't tell,' she said, honestly.
Friends and colleagues were used to seeing me in my baggy clothes, so I wore those to mask my half-thin, half-fat body.
Sometimes I'd even forget myself what my new inbetweener body was like.
But then I'd look at the ground and notice that I could only see my foot on the right side, with my heavy stomach blocking the view of my left!
Things weren't going great with Armando, so I kept my shape hidden from him, but I showed Mum and Priscilla to make sure it was healing, and even Yazmin kept an eye on Mummy's 'owie'.
Suddenly, clothes I'd never have looked at before caught my eye. Skinny-fit tops, fitted dresses, pretty skirts…
By the time eight weeks was up, I was itching to be evened up so I could really show off my new shape from every angle.
'Almost there,' Dr Ersek told me. 'You're healing beautifully.'
Another two weeks passed and I was back at the clinic for the nextlot of surgery.
'Are you in any pain?' Dr Ersek asked afterwards.
Truth was, it did hurt, but I just didn't care.
I was too excited.
After a day resting in bed, I stepped onto the scales.
'Fourteen stone?' I gasped. I'd had three stone of fat and skin sucked out and cut away.
Soon I was back, starkers and smiling in front of the mirror.
'Look at my boobs,' I said to myself. They were mesmerizing, pert and round, even better than before I'd breastfed the kids.
My ugly, sweaty apron of fat had gone too, and while my stomach was swollen from the surgery, it was still flatter than it had been since I was a teenager.
Best of all, I matched.
For a while, I couldn't get used to the new me.
Mum bought me a new tracksuit so I'd have something comfy to wear while I recovered.
'It's only a large,' I said. Normally I was an XXXL.
Then I tried it on.
'Look, Mum!' I cried, pulling out the waistband. 'It's too big.'
I was stunned.
'I still haven't worked out a payment plan with Dr Ersek,' I joked. 'But whatever this costs me, it's worth it.'
I started to eat more healthily, determined to keep the weight off, but also because I knew
I deserved good food now.
Whereas before, I couldn't make it to the bus stop without almost keeling over, now I was going out for walks whenever I got the chance.
'We have lots more fun now, Mummy,' Yazmin said.
She was right, we did.
I didn't need to hide away from the world any more.
I decided that it wasn't working with Armando, and called it a day.
'I haven't been happy for a long time but I wasn't confident enough to say so,' I admitted.
And if you want to hear about confidence, well…
At our annual family reunion in September, I got up on stage in front of 150 people and sang.
Normally I'd blush if anyone even smiled in my direction at those things, now I was belting out a song and wiggling my hips
'The change in you,' Mum said afterwards, shaking her head in disbelief.
She's right, I have changed but then, I've had a funny old year. I've been fat and thin, single and in a relationship, shy and outgoing.
Now I've found the real me who was hiding inside that fat body all along… And now I'm evened up, it's time to have some fun!
Ruby's story will be shown at 10pm on Sky Real Lives, Channel 243 and in high definition on Channel 278 on 28 January.