Helen died so our triplets could live
Helen Harding, pregnant with triplets before tragedy struck
Wednesday 4th July 2007
I'd never seen my wife, Helen, so frustrated, as she lay in her hospital bed. But I couldn't have been more excited.
'Not long to go now,' I said.
'Thank heavens,' Helen, 36, said. 'I'm bored stiff, but it'll be worth it.'
Too right. Helen was 23 weeks' pregnant with triplets and had been admitted to Mayday Hospital in Croydon for bed rest. But neither of us would ever complain. You see, it had taken five attempts at IVF before, in January 2002, Helen fell pregnant — with triplets!
We were overjoyed!
And now, after 12 weeks of bed rest, it was 9 August, the day of the Caesarean. I sat beside Helen while the surgeons got to work. Within minutes, I heard a cry. Rhianna came first, weighing 5lb 11oz. Then Daniel at 5lb 8oz and finally Maddie, at 5lb. Good sizes for 35 weeks.
The midwife gave us a glimpse before whisking them away.
'They're beautiful,' Helen gasped.
Rhianna and Daniel were fair, like Helen, and Maddie was dark, like me. Our little family...
But the next morning, Helen was still in agony. So it was me who held Rhianna for the first time.
'Mummy loves you,' I whispered.
On the second morning, I took Helen up to see her babies.
She was in pain but, as the nurse gave her Rhianna, her face changed.
'I can't wait to take you home, sweetheart,' she grinned.
We didn't stay long because Helen clearly wasn't well.
Over the following days, her stomach blew up like a football. A CT scan showed Helen had suffered a perforated colon. She needed an operation to cut away the damaged tissue and rejoin it. So, two days later, she was wheeled into theatre.
The operation was a success but, five days later, her temperature shot up and she was rushed back into surgery. If only I'd known then what I know now. Helen's colon was leaking and she had septicaemia. As she lay unconscious, the doctors battled to stabilise her.
Five weeks after they were born, I took the triplets home, while Helen was transferred to Middlesex Hospital in London. Not long after, her lungs, then kidneys failed. Five days later, the phone rang at 6am.
'Come quickly,' the doctor said. 'I'm sorry but we're losing her.'
'No!' I gasped.
A doctor pumped Helen's heart, but it was useless. She was gone. As I stroked her long, blonde hair, I noticed the pictures of the triplets on her bedside cabinet.
'I love you,' I sobbed. 'I'll be the best dad I can.'
I don't remember much about the next few hours. Just going home, clinging to my dog, Misty, and sobbing. In the following days, the others cared for the triplets and I locked myself away.
It's not fair, I thought. If the babies weren't here, Helen would be. I knew it wasn't their fault, though. I felt it was the surgeons who had perforated Helen's colon who were to blame.
I didn't think the aftercare had been up to scratch either, so I asked my solicitor to bring legal action against the hospital.
Helen's funeral was held at Croydon Crematorium two weeks after her death. She was dressed in her wedding dress and I put photos of the triplets by her body. As our wedding song, Simply Red's The Air That I Breathe, played, I couldn't believe I'd lost her.
Through my grief, it took months to get to know the triplets' personalities. Rhianna was feisty, Maddie was quick to smile, but needed cuddles, and Daniel was more laid back. Then, when the triplets were 15 months old, they all uttered the same first word... 'Mama.' I cried my heart out.
I received £700,000 compensation from the NHS, but they didn't accept liability over Helen's death. At least the money will give the triplets some security. They've just turned 5 and are
in the reception class at school.
In April 2005 I met a Russian au pair, Irina Snetkova, 29, on the internet. After getting to know each other through emails and visits, we fell in love and, in October 2006, we got married. Of course, no one can ever replace Helen, but Irina has brought us stability and happiness. The triplets love her, but Helen will never be forgotten.