Your children are maybe playing up because they're picking up on your arguments and know something is wrong. So, you need to calm down as a priority, and take a few deep breaths.

Sit down, and work out what you have coming in, and what you have going out. Don't let that frighten you when you see it all in black and white, okay, that's the first step.

You can contact Consumer Credit Counselling Service (think that's what they're called, you'll find them online). They can contact your creditors for you, if you wish. They'll work out a budget that pays something each month.

Bottom line, the priorities are the roof over your head, council tax, utilities, feeding and clothing yourself.

The credit cards and loans - don't take out any more, that's a never ending spiral. Instead, put your situation to your creditors in writing, and ask them to freeze the interest and request an income/expenditure form -I have one debt that I'm paying off at 9.45 per month and won't be cleared until 2043 at this rate - but they're getting their money and they realise that at the end of the day I want to get back on track so as each of the smaller debts is cleared off, the amount usually donated to that bill is switched to another. Make an offer, say Ł5.00/Ł10.00 per month - I don't know exactly how badly off you are, but you'll get the picture, hopefully. There's also the situation that if things get so bad that I have to declare bankruptcy, and don't have any auctionable assets they'll get naff all, so this is in both our best interests. Every three months they try to get me to increase the payments, but now just simply tell them that my situation is still not sufficiently improved enough to make promises of raised payments, that I won't be able to meet.

You said that you've got in this situation through wanting the good things in life (mine was caused by the WTFC change over in 2002 and my records being lost for six months, causing me to panic, thank you Mr Brown) - so what's lying around that isn't being used? De-clutter - anything that the kids haven't played with for six months, that you'll never wear again, they'll never wear again - e-bay or car boot. Check that you are in receipt of any benefits that you may be entitled to - you can also do that online.

Have you also heard of the Freecycle groups? This started in the USA, and most towns over here now have them. They're ideal if you are in dire need of anything - the premise is that people have items that are too good to be thrown, but they can't be bothered to sell and would rather someone who could use them, collects them. If the kids bikes etc fall to pieces while you're going through this stage, they'll just have to accept used, but functional.

Think long-term. I set ten years, and am now halfway through that, and have cleared about half. It's not quick, and it's not easy. I turned down counselling and meds because the meds just dulled the problem but didn't sort it out, and taking the counselling meant taking time off work and arranging childcare which was actually defeating the object of defeating the stress. You can do this, but no more loans. You didn't say how old the kids are, but unless they're totally spoiled rotten or really young, they're in this situation with you, so maybe you should explain to them what the arguments are about, that it's not their fault? That you all need to pull together to sort this out - you need support, you can't do this all on your own. I don't know if any of this will help you, but really hope that there's something in here that you might be able to use.