michelle
member
Reged: 29/06/2007
Posts: 5
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right here it goes? my boyfriend had a fling with his best mates girlfriend near xmas! he told me it was over before we got together but then on my bday i found texts that he sent to her saying he loved her but then he told me later that day he had fallen for me! i also think he still has feeling for her as hes always bringing her up etc. i dont know what to do. i dont want to end it because i love him but i have a feeling it will come to that! 
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kayleigh1989
member
Reged: 18/06/2007
Posts: 115
Loc: Derby
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awwwww babes, im so sorry to heard that, maybe u should sit him down and explain how u feel about the situation? it might help him to understand how u feel... xx
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yummymummyuk
member
Reged: 28/06/2007
Posts: 3
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It makes me so mad when people appear to be cheating. I went through two abusive relationships and they both cheated on me. The difference is that i knew about it but didn't have the courage to stand up for myself. You should confront your bloke and tell him how you feel. If you discover that he is cheating then you should get rid of him no matter how charming he is.
Sorry girl but most men are pathetic anyway
email me personally at yummy_mummy_uk@hotmail.com if you would like to chat. I am eight months pregant and could do with a friend to talk to.
My name is Emma.
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bionic
member
Reged: 06/06/2007
Posts: 69
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Only you can really answer that one hon, you need to ask yourself whether you trust him or not and if the answer if anything other than yes then there really is no point, trust is the major basic in every relationship, also can you forgive him? are you likely to bring it back up in arguments?. You need to ask yourself these questions, from what i can gather by your msg he had the affair before you got together its only since you have been together you have found msgs on his phone, if he is now saying he has fallen for you ask him not to bring her up in every convo thats if you decide to stay with him, also ask yourself where you draw the line ? how many times are you willing to forgive him , i once forgave a guy i truly loved for cheating it was only a kiss but neathertheless it really hurt it and he repayed me by doing it again, so i left him, he followed me from work waited outside my house and begged me to forgive him and no matter how much i loved him i couldnt my heart and feelings dont be deserved to be trampled over, we are all human and most of us have feelings. Hope you make the right decision for you and you alone in the long run and wish you all the best. xx
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suzi
member
Reged: 27/06/2007
Posts: 97
Loc: Bolton
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I'm not really sure what to say but all of the above comments give very good advice. Personally I think that if the affair happened before you got together then maybe you should give him a chance. Are the text messages that you found old ones that he had kept on his phone? if they are then there are 2 ways to look at that, in one way it's good that they aren't recent but in another way why would he keep the texts if he isn't bothered about the other woman?
Whatever you decide I hope that it is the right decision and that everything works out ok for you 
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Madison
member
Reged: 24/06/2007
Posts: 29
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I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with him and just tell him how you really feel. But be prepared to hear things you might not want to hear. As Suzi said they may have been old texts and he's just not deleted them. I hope things turn out the way you want them too, i think all of us would agree that love isn't easy and it takes a lot of work to stay with someone. Take care x
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Angelmum
member
Reged: 12/06/2007
Posts: 74
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1st of all, really sorry to hear that but i have to say once a cheater always a cheater in my experience. if he could cheat on his best mate what wont he do?
best in the long run not to be with someone like that but obvously your decision.
good luck hon. x
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Liz
member
Reged: 21/12/2006
Posts: 56
Loc: London
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Anyone who can cheat on his best mates girlfriend can't be trusted... ditch him.
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michelle
member
Reged: 29/06/2007
Posts: 5
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no suzi we had been together 2 month when he sent that text to this lass! i thought i could forget about it but i cant. i ve spoke to him about it but he just said he said it to wind her up and [****]!
but anyways ive ended it with him now.
thanks girls
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kayleigh1989
member
Reged: 18/06/2007
Posts: 115
Loc: Derby
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well done u!! youre better off without him! he obviously cant be trusted if he goes round texting girls behind ur back in the first place!
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suzi
member
Reged: 27/06/2007
Posts: 97
Loc: Bolton
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I agree Kayleigh, Michelle you are better off without him, he obviously couldn't be trusted and you deserve better than that, hope you find someone really lovely that you can rely on.
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sandrabear
member
Reged: 11/06/2007
Posts: 26
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well done Michelle. i really do think u've done the right thing. u only get 1 life and should spend it with someone who makes you happy. u deserve better!
i really hope u meet a lovely new man soon.
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jacqueline
member
Reged: 22/07/2008
Posts: 6
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well i think it would be a good idea if you had a few nights out with your friends,just to let him know that you still have a life of your own if he thinks enough of you he will tell you he wants to see mou more often
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